Livin' the dream in 2019

Livin’ the dream in 2019

Okay, so the title does not rhyme perfectly, but you get the point. I have a tough time with New Years resolutions. Historically, they don’t usually come to fruition as I give up pretty quickly. Should that stop me from setting goals altogether though? I don’t think so. So, here I am. Deciding to put myself, my thoughts and my musings out there for the world to see. Or, at least for people I know to see….whether or not it goes past that is something we will have to wait to determine. For now, hey there, friends! I hope this post finds you well and that your year is off to a tremendous start.

Even though I don’t know if I completely agree with with the idea of a New Year’s resolution, I have always been a fan of new beginnings. There is something about a fresh start that feels empowering. When I was a teacher, I used to tell my students that Monday was my favorite day of the week because it was an opportunity to have a blank canvas with which I could paint any week I wanted. There were definitely weeks where that blank canvas was pretty ugly by about 8am on Monday morning, but I try to not let that stop me from trying to paint another masterpiece on my next go round.   I think that this ties in pretty seamlessly with my belief that pain is what helps us grow. In fact, I believe that growth and healing are actually the function of pain-it is the reason it exists. I don’t mean that it an “everything happens for a reason” kind of way (that is probably my least favorite phrase in existence) but I do think that we don’t learn jack-squat from joy. Our greatest lessons and proudest triumphs are a result of the struggle-and the struggle is very real. Emotions are a part of the human experience and, when we get down to it, emotions really suck most of the time. The pleasant ones like joy, passion and love can sometimes feel like they are few and far between so I have found that when I can harness the power of the less pleasant emotions, like pain or anger, fear or shame and allow them to serve their purpose in my life, the moments of joy, passion and love feel that much more powerful.

How does this all tie in? 2018 was a year of some very high highs and some very low lows. It is not all my story to tell, but it was definitely an incredibly difficult year.   Although I married an amazing man and was independently licensed (after working tirelessly for the past 4 years) this year, I also lost people I loved and experienced a dramatic shift in my family dynamic-which had a larger impact than I had ever imagined. 2019 is a fresh start. One in which I want to take all I have learned in 2018 and paint myself a new canvas. What will be on my canvas you ask? I am glad that you did, because I think that saying your goals out loud (or writing them in a blog as an equivalent) helps to hold a person accountable for what they are trying to do. I know I said that I struggle with New Years Resolutions, but I definitely believe in setting your intentions to accomplish a goal. So, this year I will set New Year’s intentions. In 2019, I intend to post to this blog a minimum of once per week, twice as often as I possibly can. This year, I intend to train for a half marathon (crap, now that I have written it, I actually have to do it). This year, I intend to be mindful of my unhealthy and ineffective relationship with food and work towards changing it, This year, I intend to work towards financial fitness. This year, I intend to be as kind to myself as I am to other people.


Thanks for joining me on this journey-2019, I am ready for ya!

With Gratitude, Jessica Brubaker

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