February 21, 2020 is a day that I will not soon forget. In fact, I am pretty confident that it is a day that I will never forget. After months of preparation, rehearsal, anxiety, edits and rewrites, I stepped into the bright lights and on to the TEDx Grand Canyon University stage to deliver my very first TED Talk.
And. It. Was. Incredible.
I actually kind of love public speaking, I present and teach pretty often in my job. But this was different. The TED brand is so distinct, and the style of the event is so unique, that I could tell that it was going to bee something pretty dang special. And I was totally right. The energy of the crowd (thanks in part to the beautiful humans who came out to support me; friends and family-I love you all something fierce), the giant TED letters, the other innovative speakers…it all came together to create one of the most special experiences of my life thus far.
My talk was about the concept of “self-care.” But, if you watch TED Talks as often as I do, you know that the talk isn’t really about what the talk is about. And that was just as true for me. When I first shared my idea with the TED x team at Grand Canyon University, I was not sure where it would go and what the final result would be. And what came out of my mouth on that stage, under those lights, was the exact message that I try and share with so many of the people in my life-clients and otherwise.
We run around this life trying to take care of things and tasks and people, and we don’t stop and take care of ourselves. And when we do that, we send this message to ourselves that we are not a priority. Then, we get upset when the people in our lives don’t make us a priority. But honestly, how can we expect them to if we don’t? And then if no one is attending to our needs, what happens? Well, our needs don’t get met!
I had two main points that I was hoping would shine through-you matter enough to have your needs met and the only person who is responsible for doing it is you.
Here is the deal, though, we don’t always have an easy time attending to our own needs because we have developed this deep seeded belief that others are more important than us and we ignore our own needs automatically!
So, what do you do? Just live your life without having your needs met? That is a big negative, Ghost Rider. The only thing you do is pay attention. Notice the times where you are letting other people’s needs get in the way of yours and try to stop. I know that the execution of that choice is not as easy as it sounds, and there will always be times where it makes sense in the moment and in that relationship to attend to someone else’s needs instead of or before your own, but that is not true all of the time. And when you decide to start paying attention to it, and start being intentional about attending to your own needs, you may be surprised about the shift in your life.
You matter. You are valuable. You are enough, just because you exist. You deserve to be taken care of-and you are also in charge of taking care of yourself.
Want some help in putting your needs on the top of your priority list? Make sure you are following this blog and following me on social media (@jessicambru on Instagram and @jessicambrubaker on Facebook) for my upcoming 15-day Self Care Challenge!